


An Unbroken Reflection

by candylestrade



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, all the turtles are neurodivergent, i think raph should talk to his brothers about his issues. PLEASE, leo has adhd, mind raph is also here, post-episode man vs sewer, raph is autistic, same with the sando brothers, splinter and april arent there but are mentioned, tcesters if you even fucking look at this i will stomp you to death with my hooves, this is my first fic lets fucking goooooo!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:20:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25538686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candylestrade/pseuds/candylestrade
Summary: After the trip to the sewers, Raph can’t exactly remember everything that happened. Leo decides it’s his responsibility to tell his older brother just how weird he actually got.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 89





	An Unbroken Reflection

**Author's Note:**

> ooouuuaaaauughhhhhh first fic. If you know me on twitter (@candylestrade) you know im a raph stan and can never find the Good Raph Content. So ill MAKE IT MYSELF

Raph sighed, and lay down on his bed. Today had been LONG.

He had only just managed to sneak Donnie’s tire back into the garage and sneak out again by the time Donnie himself had gotten around asking where the other tires were. That had taken some serious ninja stealth moves, especially since he still had mud all over him.

He still didn’t know how that got there.

Wait. It was still there.

He sprung off his bed, and grumbled. Of course. Mud stains on the bed now. He gathered the sheets up, and threw his poncho (when did he get this?) into the pile as well.

‘Raph? You good, buddy?’

Raph spun around (why was he so jumpy?) to see Leo stood in the entrance to his room. He wasn’t wearing his usual smile, though. Weird.

‘Yeah, Raph’s fine. What’s up?’ he asked. Clearly something was up; maybe Leo wanted to talk to him about sparring again? Or wanted a therapy session?

Instead, Leo frowned at him. ‘We’re talking about you here, dude. You got really weird again today.’ His brother pulled the sheets out of Raph’s hands, and walked back out. ‘You go wash the sewer grossness off, and I’ll go get these cleaned, okay?’

Raph paused. Leo was being uncharacteristically responsible, but he wasn’t going to let this chance slip away.

‘Sure thing, Leo.’

He completely missed Leo’s concerned expression, as well as his other brothers' watchful eyes as he walked to the bathroom.

-

The large mirror above the sink… wasn’t cracked. It made a nice change from most of the other things in the lair. They tended to try to keep this one clean, so at least they had a useful place to keep up self-care routines. 

Raph stared into it. There really was a lot of mud on his face. He peeled off his bandana and laughed at the clear line of dirt it had left on his scales.

_ Just how weird did you have to get to have THIS much grime on you? _

‘Not now, Mind Raph.’

_ Seriously, this is what happens when you separate from your brothers. Don’t let this happen again. _

‘Jeez, I know! You don’t gotta remind me!’

He finished wiping his face down, and turned off the taps. He looked up.

His reflection glared back.

He ignored it, and walked out the room.

-

Leo was finishing remaking Raph’s bed when he arrived back. He glanced up, and grinned.

‘There’s my big brother! Here, I got you a clean mask.’ He handed over the red fabric, and finished putting the sheets onto the mattress. ‘Come ‘n sit here.’

Raph was getting a little confused by the kind acts (he and his brothers would help each other all the time, but doing each other's chores? Nuh-uh.), but scooted up onto the blankets with Leo.

‘What's this really about, Leo?’

Leo fidgeted nervously. ‘So, you know you got weird again today.’

‘Yeah.’

‘And you… don't remember any of it.’

‘...No.’

Leo sighed heavily. ‘Okay. So, we lost you. In the sewers. You went down the wrong pipe and we were looking for you for hours. We kept finding places you had been that were, like, totally destroyed. Smashed up. Etcetera.’

Raph stared at his hands. He’d forgotten to change his wrappings, and they were covered in tears and bits of dust and rubble. He took a sharp intake of breath. Exhale. Focus on the words, Raphael.

‘When we found you, we were covered in gross sewer sludge. You mistook us for sewer monsters and… attacked us. You had also attacked two villains before we found you.’

He was shaking now, fists clenched and refusing to look up. He couldn't look his brother in the eyes, he couldn't. Not when Leo was admitting that Raph had… He’d nearly… 

_ Worse than we thought, huh? _

Raph squeezed his eyes shut. He felt Leo gently place his hand on his shoulder.

‘It’s okay. You didn’t hurt any of us, and we figured out how to calm you down again. The villains were… well, actually I don’t know if they're okay, they did wash away in the sewer water…’ Leo trailed off. ‘That's not helping, huh.’

Deep breaths, Raph. Like Dad taught you. Don’t lose it. 

_ Don’t lose it, Raph. _

Please.

Leo’s voice came through the fog. ‘Oh no, Raph? Raph, it’s okay. Guys, help me out over here.’

The sound of two sets of footsteps entered his room.

‘It’s okay, Raph. We’re here. We found you, and we’re okay!’

‘Angelo is right. You are currently in your room, in the lair, and I also brought your rubix cube.’

He felt a small, plastic object touch his hands. He opened his eyes, just a little, to see his favourite puzzle toy on top of his fists. Oh, no, he was really tensing those. He let them unfurl and the cube settled into his palm.

‘Good going, bud, you’re doing fine.’

‘... didn't mean to… I really didn’t mean to.’

Ah, he was crying. He blinked a little and watched the tears form a small droplet on the puzzle toy. He looked up to see Leo smiling at him. Was he also crying?

Mikey scrambled up onto the bed with them, and wrapped his arms around Raph’s shoulders. He leant into the hug, almost embarrassed. He didn’t like Mikey seeing him like this, but he didn’t have a choice right now. 

‘We know you didn’t mean to! You’d never hurt us, Raph. You love us too much!’

Donnie was across the room, next to Raph’s pile of stuffed bears. He noticed Raph looking at him, and pointed at them. ‘Raph, am I okay to pick these up and bring them over?’

He hesitated, then nodded, and Donnie brought over what he knew to be Raph’s three favourite bears. He settled them in the crooks of Raph’s arms, and joined the pile on the bed next to Leo. 

‘We know you’d never mean to hurt us, Raph. Which is why we need to tell Dad about this.’

_ You know he’s untrustworthy with this. They all are. _

Raph winced. Mind Raph doesn’t know when to shut up.

‘We… we do. We should. Do we… have to go out tubing again tomorrow?’

Donnie shook his head. ‘No, we don’t. I think we’re all going to have two or three days off from things. We can invite April, too.’

Leo beamed, and Mikey started bouncing a little from excitement. ‘Lair party! With less of the party, and more of the lair. And more of the Jupiter Jim marathons!’

Raph smiled at his brothers. ‘Thanks, guys. You’re the best.’

-

He shooed them out of his room not long after, having been calmed down to the point where he would much rather be alone in his room for a few minutes than have Mikey continue to cling to him. He sat back down on the bed, and started to change the wrappings on his arms.

_ … A lair party doesn’t sound so bad. _

He nodded. ‘Neither does a Jupiter Jim marathon!’

_ Staying safe in the lair is a good idea. _

‘But we do have to go out again at some point.’ All the wrappings were off, now, and he could see the dirt line on his hands. These needed a wash again. 

_ Our brothers will protect us, though. Once they take a little more responsibility. _

Raph stood up to exit his room. ‘I’m sure they'll be fine!’

_ Yeah. I hope so. _

He could hear Leo and Mikey bickering over a game outside. He grinned. 

‘Yeah? Well, Raph knows so!’

**Author's Note:**

> hey rise teeeeeam can we talk about raphs mental staaaate rise teeeam let me iiiin


End file.
